is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
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