even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
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