I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
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