so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
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