There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize
