Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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