I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
