My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Randomize
