I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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