Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Randomize
