which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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