So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
