my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
she looked like the before picture.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
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