So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
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