i permit you to call me
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Randomize
