So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Randomize
