dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
I showed him my bush... on skype.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Randomize
