She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
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