so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
