the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Never let your siblings swipe right.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Randomize
