Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Randomize
