By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
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