Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
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