Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
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