But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
