I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
