You don't have asthma, your pregnant
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
I don't deserve a penis
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Randomize
