just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
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