How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
