i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
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