Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
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