3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
A+ Viking dick
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
Randomize
