i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
