I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
