Kareoke will never be a sober sport
i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
