a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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