i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Randomize
