i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
