oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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