His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize
