seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
