In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
