I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
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