what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize