Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Randomize
