I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Randomize
