omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
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