My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Randomize