none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
is wine microwaveable?
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Randomize
