all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
