i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Verdict: uncircumcised.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
Randomize
