this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
Randomize
