Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Randomize