I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
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