He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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