There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Rumble strips road head = magical
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
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