so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
