Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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